My 3-Day-Old Granddaughter Died

From The Grief Blog, September 25, 2007

My granddaughter died when she was three days old. Her mother was in labor and fell which caused the placenta to tear loose from the wall. I have been dealing with the loss but my greater concern is my daughter-in-law. I love her as my own and she is not the same mother that she was to her other 2 children.  She feels that everything is ok but I really think that she needs more help.  This is a loss that has no time limit or timetable for when “we’re all better”. I just don’t want to lose her too!!! I am a nurse and feel that I should be able to help but I don’t think that’s happening!

Dear Sherry,

We are so very sorry for your loss of your granddaughter. You don’t say how long ago her death occurred but regardless of time, the wounds sound fresh and raw for both you and your daughter-in-law. She is lucky to have you with her for love and support and you are probably helping her more than you know. 

We recommend that you introduce her to The Grief Blog so she can read what other mothers have written and how their healing took place or is taking place. And we also recommend that you seek out a chapter of Compassionate Friends in your area. You can find their website at http://www.compassionatefriends.org/  With them you can find many valuable resources to help you and your daughter in law along the way. Each member has experienced the death of a child and each has survived and grieved in his or her own way. With this group neither of you have to walk this path alone. You also might want to consider recommending a professional grief counselor to her at some point if you feel she needs more support.

We invite you and your daughter-in-law to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart  You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com  You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/

Our blessings to you both,

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley